Drupal Association members fund grants that make connections all over the world.
For some reason _hosting_package_instances_load_languages() is statically cached but _hosting_package_instances_load() isn't?
Also, neither have any persistent caching which should be totally implementable since the only time the results for a given query could change is when something changes in the hosting_package_instance, hosting_package, node, or hosting_platform tables we can just clear what we need to on updates/inserts.
Changes to the UI that would provide more comprehensive information on the sites/platforms being managed by Aegir have previously been blocked due to performance concernsso why not profile at least some basic changes that could speed things up?
Hostmaster has no dedicated persistent cache table afaik, which this would obviously rely on, in part. I'll add that as a separate issue and link to it from here.