diff -u b/core/lib/Drupal/Core/Cache/DatabaseBackend.php b/core/lib/Drupal/Core/Cache/DatabaseBackend.php
--- b/core/lib/Drupal/Core/Cache/DatabaseBackend.php
+++ b/core/lib/Drupal/Core/Cache/DatabaseBackend.php
@@ -444,7 +444,7 @@
   /**
    * Defines the schema for the {cache_*} bin and {cachetags} tables.
    */
-  public function getSchema($table_name = NULL) {
+  public function getSchema($table_name = '') {
     $schema[$this->bin] = array(
       'description' => 'Storage for the cache API.',
       'fields' => array(
diff -u b/core/lib/Drupal/Core/Config/DatabaseStorage.php b/core/lib/Drupal/Core/Config/DatabaseStorage.php
--- b/core/lib/Drupal/Core/Config/DatabaseStorage.php
+++ b/core/lib/Drupal/Core/Config/DatabaseStorage.php
@@ -71,8 +71,9 @@
    * Implements Drupal\Core\Config\StorageInterface::exists().
    */
   public function exists($name) {
-    $options = $this->options;
-    $options['on_table_missing'] = FALSE;
+    $options = array(
+      'create_missing_table' => FALSE,
+    ) + $this->options;
     try {
       return (bool) $this->connection->queryRange('SELECT 1 FROM {' . $this->connection->escapeTable($this->table) . '} WHERE collection = :collection AND name = :name', 0, 1, array(
         ':collection' => $this->collection,
@@ -90,40 +91,16 @@
    * {@inheritdoc}
    */
   public function read($name) {
-    $options = $this->options;
-    $options['on_table_missing'] = FALSE;
-    $data = FALSE;
-    try {
-      $raw = $this->connection->query('SELECT data FROM {' . $this->connection->escapeTable($this->table) . '} WHERE collection = :collection AND name = :name', array(':collection' => $this->collection, ':name' => $name), $options)->fetchField();
-      if ($raw !== FALSE) {
-        $data = $this->decode($raw);
-      }
-    }
-    catch (\Exception $e) {
-      // If we attempt a read without actually having the database or the table
-      // available, just return FALSE so the caller can handle it.
-    }
-    return $data;
+    $raw = $this->connection->query('SELECT data FROM {' . $this->connection->escapeTable($this->table) . '} WHERE collection = :collection AND name = :name', array(':collection' => $this->collection, ':name' => $name), $this->options)->fetchField();
+    return $raw !== FALSE ? $this->decode($raw) : FALSE;
   }
 
   /**
    * {@inheritdoc}
    */
   public function readMultiple(array $names) {
-    $options = $this->options;
-    $options['on_table_missing'] = FALSE;
-    $list = array();
-    try {
-      $list = $this->connection->query('SELECT name, data FROM {' . $this->connection->escapeTable($this->table) . '} WHERE collection = :collection AND name IN (:names)', array(':collection' => $this->collection, ':names' => $names), $options)->fetchAllKeyed();
-      foreach ($list as &$data) {
-        $data = $this->decode($data);
-      }
-    }
-    catch (\Exception $e) {
-      // If we attempt a read without actually having the database or the table
-      // available, just return an empty array so the caller can handle it.
-    }
-    return $list;
+    $list = $this->connection->query('SELECT name, data FROM {' . $this->connection->escapeTable($this->table) . '} WHERE collection = :collection AND name IN (:names)', array(':collection' => $this->collection, ':names' => $names), $this->options)->fetchAllKeyed();
+    return array_map([$this, 'decode'], $list);
   }
 
   /**
@@ -141,7 +118,7 @@
   /**
    * Defines the schema for the configuration table.
    */
-  public function getSchema($table_name = NULL) {
+  public function getSchema($table_name = '') {
     $schema = array(
       'description' => 'The base table for configuration data.',
       'fields' => array(
@@ -179,7 +156,10 @@
    * @todo Ignore replica targets for data manipulation operations.
    */
   public function delete($name) {
-    $options = array('return' => Database::RETURN_AFFECTED) + $this->options;
+    $options = array(
+      'return' => Database::RETURN_AFFECTED,
+      'create_missing_table' => FALSE,
+    ) + $this->options;
     return (bool) $this->connection->delete($this->table, $options)
       ->condition('collection', $this->collection)
       ->condition('name', $name)
@@ -240,7 +220,10 @@
    */
   public function deleteAll($prefix = '') {
     try {
-      $options = array('return' => Database::RETURN_AFFECTED) + $this->options;
+      $options = array(
+        'return' => Database::RETURN_AFFECTED,
+        'create_missing_table' => FALSE,
+      ) + $this->options;
       return (bool) $this->connection->delete($this->table, $options)
         ->condition('name', $prefix . '%', 'LIKE')
         ->condition('collection', $this->collection)
diff -u b/core/lib/Drupal/Core/Database/Connection.php b/core/lib/Drupal/Core/Database/Connection.php
--- b/core/lib/Drupal/Core/Database/Connection.php
+++ b/core/lib/Drupal/Core/Database/Connection.php
@@ -218,7 +218,7 @@
    *   - Database::RETURN_NULL: Do not return anything, as there is no
    *     meaningful value to return. That is the case for INSERT queries on
    *     tables that do not contain a serial column.
-   * - on_table_missing: When a string, it is a table name. If the query
+   * - create_missing_table: When a string, it is a table name. If the query
    *   fails with a table missing error then this table is created and if
    *   the creation succeeded then the query is re-run. When TRUE and
    *   return is set to Database::RETURN_STATEMENT and the query is failing
@@ -238,7 +238,7 @@
       'target' => 'default',
       'fetch' => \PDO::FETCH_OBJ,
       'return' => Database::RETURN_STATEMENT,
-      'on_table_missing' => TRUE,
+      'create_missing_table' => TRUE,
       'throw_exception' => TRUE,
     );
   }
@@ -562,24 +562,30 @@
       }
     }
     catch (\PDOException $e) {
-      if ($this->isTableMissingException($e) && !empty($options['on_table_missing'])) {
+      if ($this->isTableMissingException($e) && !empty($options['create_missing_table'])) {
         if ($options['return'] == Database::RETURN_STATEMENT) {
+          // This is a SELECT on a missing table. Creating the table and
+          // re-runing the query will result in an empty result so return that
+          // early instead.
           return new StatementEmpty();
         }
-        if (is_string($options['on_table_missing'])) {
-          $table = $options['on_table_missing'];
+        if (is_string($options['create_missing_table'])) {
+          $table = $options['create_missing_table'];
           foreach (debug_backtrace(DEBUG_BACKTRACE_PROVIDE_OBJECT) as $bt) {
-            if (!empty($bt['object']) && $bt['object'] instanceof SchemaProviderInterface && ($schema = call_user_func([$bt['object'], 'getSchema'], $table))) {
+            if (isset($bt['object']) && $bt['object'] instanceof SchemaProviderInterface && ($schema = $bt['object']->getSchema($table))) {
               if ($this->schema()->ensureTableExists($table, $schema)) {
                 // Theoretically the table must exist at this point so this
                 // should not matter but still, databases. This makes sure
                 // no infinite recursion happens.
-                $options['on_table_missing'] = FALSE;
+                $options['create_missing_table'] = FALSE;
                 return $this->query($query, $args, $options);
               }
             }
           }
         }
+        elseif ($options['create_missing_table'] === TRUE) {
+          return NULL;
+        }
       }
       if ($options['throw_exception']) {
         // Wrap the exception in another exception, because PHP does not allow
diff -u b/core/lib/Drupal/Core/Database/Driver/mysql/Schema.php b/core/lib/Drupal/Core/Database/Driver/mysql/Schema.php
--- b/core/lib/Drupal/Core/Database/Driver/mysql/Schema.php
+++ b/core/lib/Drupal/Core/Database/Driver/mysql/Schema.php
@@ -513,7 +513,7 @@
     // @todo This override should be removed once we require a version of MySQL
     //   that has that bug fixed.
     try {
-      $options['on_table_missing'] = FALSE;
+      $options['create_missing_table'] = FALSE;
       $this->connection->queryRange("SELECT 1 FROM {" . $table . "}", 0, 1, [], $options);
       return TRUE;
     }
diff -u b/core/lib/Drupal/Core/Database/Query/Delete.php b/core/lib/Drupal/Core/Database/Query/Delete.php
--- b/core/lib/Drupal/Core/Database/Query/Delete.php
+++ b/core/lib/Drupal/Core/Database/Query/Delete.php
@@ -45,9 +45,6 @@
    */
   public function __construct(Connection $connection, $table, array $options = array()) {
     $options['return'] = Database::RETURN_AFFECTED;
-    if (!isset($options['on_table_missing'])) {
-      $options['on_table_missing'] = FALSE;
-    }
     parent::__construct($connection, $options);
     $this->table = $table;
 
@@ -142,18 +139,7 @@
       $this->condition->compile($this->connection, $this);
       $values = $this->condition->arguments();
     }
-    try {
-      return $this->connection->query((string) $this, $values, $this->queryOptions);
-    }
-    catch (\Exception $e) {
-      if ($this->connection->isTableMissingException($e)) {
-        // There are no rows to delete because the table doesn't exist so the
-        // desired results are achieved.
-        return 0;
-      }
-      throw $e;
-    }
-
+    return $this->connection->query((string) $this, $values, $this->queryOptions);
   }
 
   /**
diff -u b/core/lib/Drupal/Core/Database/Query/Insert.php b/core/lib/Drupal/Core/Database/Query/Insert.php
--- b/core/lib/Drupal/Core/Database/Query/Insert.php
+++ b/core/lib/Drupal/Core/Database/Query/Insert.php
@@ -74,7 +74,7 @@
   public function __construct($connection, $table, array $options = array()) {
     $options += array(
       'return' => Database::RETURN_INSERT_ID,
-      'on_table_missing' => $table,
+      'create_missing_table' => $table,
     );
     parent::__construct($connection, $options);
     $this->table = $table;
diff -u b/core/lib/Drupal/Core/Database/Query/Merge.php b/core/lib/Drupal/Core/Database/Query/Merge.php
--- b/core/lib/Drupal/Core/Database/Query/Merge.php
+++ b/core/lib/Drupal/Core/Database/Query/Merge.php
@@ -135,8 +135,8 @@
    */
   public function __construct(Connection $connection, $table, array $options = array()) {
     $options['return'] = Database::RETURN_AFFECTED;
-    if (!isset($options['on_table_missing'])) {
-      $options['on_table_missing'] = $table;
+    if (!isset($options['create_missing_table'])) {
+      $options['create_missing_table'] = $table;
     }
     parent::__construct($connection, $options);
     $this->table = $table;
diff -u b/core/lib/Drupal/Core/Database/Query/Select.php b/core/lib/Drupal/Core/Database/Query/Select.php
--- b/core/lib/Drupal/Core/Database/Query/Select.php
+++ b/core/lib/Drupal/Core/Database/Query/Select.php
@@ -137,9 +137,6 @@
    */
   public function __construct($table, $alias = NULL, Connection $connection, $options = array()) {
     $options['return'] = Database::RETURN_STATEMENT;
-    if (!isset($options['on_table_exception'])) {
-      $options['on_table_exception'] = TRUE;
-    }
     parent::__construct($connection, $options);
     $conjunction = isset($options['conjunction']) ? $options['conjunction'] : 'AND';
     $this->where = new Condition($conjunction);
@@ -685,6 +682,9 @@
    * {@inheritdoc}
    */
   public function addJoin($type, $table, $alias = NULL, $condition = NULL, $arguments = array()) {
+    if (isset($type)) {
+      $this->queryOptions['create_missing_table'] = FALSE;
+    }
     if (empty($alias)) {
       if ($table instanceof SelectInterface) {
         $alias = 'subquery';
diff -u b/core/lib/Drupal/Core/Database/Query/Truncate.php b/core/lib/Drupal/Core/Database/Query/Truncate.php
--- b/core/lib/Drupal/Core/Database/Query/Truncate.php
+++ b/core/lib/Drupal/Core/Database/Query/Truncate.php
@@ -35,9 +35,6 @@
    */
   public function __construct(Connection $connection, $table, array $options = array()) {
     $options['return'] = Database::RETURN_AFFECTED;
-    if (!isset($options['on_table_missing'])) {
-      $options['on_table_missing'] = FALSE;
-    }
     parent::__construct($connection, $options);
     $this->table = $table;
   }
reverted:
--- b/core/lib/Drupal/Core/Database/Query/Update.php
+++ a/core/lib/Drupal/Core/Database/Query/Update.php
@@ -74,9 +74,6 @@
    */
   public function __construct(Connection $connection, $table, array $options = array()) {
     $options['return'] = Database::RETURN_AFFECTED;
-    if (!isset($options['on_table_missing'])) {
-      $options['on_table_missing'] = FALSE;
-    }
     parent::__construct($connection, $options);
     $this->table = $table;
 
@@ -202,30 +199,13 @@
   }
 
   /**
-   * {@inheritdoc}
-   */
-  public function execute() {
-    try {
-      return $this->doExecute();
-    }
-    catch (\Exception $e) {
-      if ($this->connection->isTableMissingException($e)) {
-        // Every row (in the non-existing table, that is, so no rows) are
-        // updated.
-        return 0;
-      }
-      throw $e;
-    }
-  }
-
-  /**
    * Executes the UPDATE query.
    *
    * @return
    *   The number of rows matched by the update query. This includes rows that
    *   actually didn't have to be updated because the values didn't change.
    */
+  public function execute() {
-  protected function doExecute() {
     // Expressions take priority over literal fields, so we process those first
     // and remove any literal fields that conflict.
     $fields = $this->fields;
diff -u b/core/lib/Drupal/Core/Database/Schema.php b/core/lib/Drupal/Core/Database/Schema.php
--- b/core/lib/Drupal/Core/Database/Schema.php
+++ b/core/lib/Drupal/Core/Database/Schema.php
@@ -768,7 +768,2 @@
   }
-
-  protected function query($query, array $args = array(), $options = array()) {
-    $options['on_table_missing'] = FALSE;
-    return $this->connection->query($query, $args, $options);
-  }
 }
diff -u b/core/lib/Drupal/Core/Database/SchemaProviderInterface.php b/core/lib/Drupal/Core/Database/SchemaProviderInterface.php
--- b/core/lib/Drupal/Core/Database/SchemaProviderInterface.php
+++ b/core/lib/Drupal/Core/Database/SchemaProviderInterface.php
@@ -10,22 +10,24 @@
  * This interface is a helper for queries creating tables on demand.
  *
- * Passing objects implementing this interface to
- * Drupal\Core\Database\Query::executeEnsuringTable() and
- * Drupal\Core\Database\SelectInterface::executeEnsuringTable() allows these
- * methods to create the necessary table if it is missing and re-run the query.
- * For example, during testing this avoids creating unnecessary tables ahead of
- * the time.
+ * An INSERT or MERGE query will automatically find if the caller implements
+ * this interface and create the table on demand.
+ *
  */
 interface SchemaProviderInterface {
 
   /**
    * A schema API array.
    *
+   * @param string $table_name
+   *   The name of the table being created. Typically it's safe to ignore this
+   *   unless the class implementing this interface works with multiple tables.
+   *
    * @return array
    *   A schema API array
    *
    * @see hook_schema()
+   * @see \Drupal\Core\Cache\DatabaseBackend
    */
-  public function getSchema($table_name = NULL);
+  public function getSchema($table_name = '');
 }
 
diff -u b/core/lib/Drupal/Core/Menu/MenuTreeStorage.php b/core/lib/Drupal/Core/Menu/MenuTreeStorage.php
--- b/core/lib/Drupal/Core/Menu/MenuTreeStorage.php
+++ b/core/lib/Drupal/Core/Menu/MenuTreeStorage.php
@@ -1004,7 +1004,7 @@
     if ($menu_name) {
       $query->condition('menu_name', $menu_name);
     }
-    return $query->countQuery()->executeEnsuringTable($this)->fetchField();
+    return $query->countQuery()->execute()->fetchField();
   }
 
   /**
@@ -1136,7 +1136,7 @@
    * @return array
    *   The schema API definition for the SQL storage table.
    */
-  public function getSchema($table_name = NULL) {
+  public function getSchema($table_name = '') {
     $schema = array(
       'description' => 'Contains the menu tree hierarchy.',
       'fields' => array(
diff -u b/core/modules/system/src/Tests/Cache/DatabaseBackendTagTest.php b/core/modules/system/src/Tests/Cache/DatabaseBackendTagTest.php
--- b/core/modules/system/src/Tests/Cache/DatabaseBackendTagTest.php
+++ b/core/modules/system/src/Tests/Cache/DatabaseBackendTagTest.php
@@ -48,7 +48,8 @@
       $bin->set('test', 'value', Cache::PERMANENT, $tags);
       $this->assertTrue($bin->get('test'), 'Cache item was set in bin.');
     }
-
+    // Just setting cache data does not create the cachetags table, that only
+    // happens when tags are invalidated.
     $this->assertFalse(Database::getConnection()->schema()->tableExists('cachetags'));
     Cache::invalidateTags(array('test_tag:2'));
 
diff -u b/core/modules/system/src/Tests/Database/SelectTest.php b/core/modules/system/src/Tests/Database/SelectTest.php
--- b/core/modules/system/src/Tests/Database/SelectTest.php
+++ b/core/modules/system/src/Tests/Database/SelectTest.php
@@ -477,7 +477,7 @@
 
     try {
       // This query will fail because the table does not exist.
-      db_select('some_table_that_doesnt_exist', 't', ['on_table_missing' => FALSE])
+      db_select('some_table_that_doesnt_exist', 't', ['create_missing_table' => FALSE])
         ->fields('t')
         ->countQuery()
         ->execute();
@@ -523,7 +523,7 @@
    *
    * @return array
    */
-  public function getSchema($table_name = NULL) {
+  public function getSchema($table_name = '') {
     return drupal_get_schema_unprocessed('database_test', 'test');
   }
 }
only in patch2:
unchanged:
--- a/core/lib/Drupal/Core/Database/StatementEmpty.php
+++ b/core/lib/Drupal/Core/Database/StatementEmpty.php
@@ -52,7 +52,7 @@ public function fetch($mode = NULL, $cursor_orientation = NULL, $cursor_offset =
   }
 
   public function fetchField($index = 0) {
-    return NULL;
+    return FALSE;
   }
 
   public function fetchObject() {
only in patch2:
unchanged:
--- a/core/modules/system/tests/modules/error_test/src/Controller/ErrorTestController.php
+++ b/core/modules/system/tests/modules/error_test/src/Controller/ErrorTestController.php
@@ -69,7 +69,7 @@ public function triggerException() {
    */
   public function triggerPDOException() {
     define('SIMPLETEST_COLLECT_ERRORS', FALSE);
-    $this->database->query('SELECT * FROM bananas_are_awesome');
+    $this->database->query('SELECT * FROM bananas_are_awesome', [], ['create_missing_table' => FALSE]);
   }
 
 }