Old Jews Telling Jokes

Barnett Hoffman, "Medium"

Tue, 14 Apr 2009 03:24:19 +0000

During my dad's tenure as a criminal judge, he started ASAP which stands for Adult Substance Abuse Program. It's the only judicially supervised in-custody substance abuse program in the state of New Jersey, so that drug dependent people could help themselves while incarcerated.

Yeah, I know it's not funny. It's just great.

Neil Lawner, "White Wedding"

Wed, 08 Apr 2009 23:50:52 +0000

Neil Lawner is a very accomplished still photographer who has been exhibited often. One of his images hangs in my father's law office.

Vicki Salz, "Frog Jump"

Mon, 06 Apr 2009 22:14:49 +0000

Vicky Salz hails from Weequahic, the section of Newark made famous by Philip Roth. She is currently a social worker, but was previously a Physical Education teacher. Notorious amongst her friends as an inveterate collector, she also plays a mean kazoo.

Michael Goldberg, "Honda"

Wed, 01 Apr 2009 19:33:37 +0000

In his spare time, to unwind from his work at the hospital, Michael Goldberg races Ferraris.

Larry Donsky, "Baby"

Mon, 30 Mar 2009 20:43:32 +0000

In addition to meeting my father, Larry also met his wife Susan at Camp Delwood. They have been married close to 50 years.

BONUS VIDEO: Monday Night Football's Tony Kornheiser, "Sadie"

Thu, 26 Mar 2009 18:03:52 +0000

Monday Night Football's Tony Kornheiser mentions Old Jews Telling Jokes on WashingtonPost.com's Talking Points, March 24, 2009. See the full episode here!

Allen Pinsky, "Mr. Rabinowitz"

Thu, 26 Mar 2009 00:42:53 +0000

Allen Pinsky also went to Camp Delwood with my dad. Then they lived in the same community in Central New Jersey for many years, but my father never recognized him because he didn't have white hair when they were kids at summer camp.

Alan Gordon, "Jake & Becky"

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 00:54:01 +0000

Alan Gordon was an executive at a local paper distribution company when we were in high school. Some of us worked for him in the summer. We rode around the massive warehouse on a pallet jack, picking loads for the trucks to deliver. We got a Teamsters card and overtime after 5pm. I used to try and remember all the words to American Pie as I rode around the warehouse. It helped pass the time.

Barnett Hoffman, "I Must"

Thu, 19 Mar 2009 05:46:26 +0000

Barnett Hoffman is a die-hard Rutgers Scarlet Knights fan. During their undefeated 1975-1976 basketball season, our family travelled all over the Eastern seaboard to follow their run to the Final Four. It doesn't get much better than that for a nine year old.

Jerry Block, "Heaven"

Tue, 17 Mar 2009 01:29:44 +0000

Jerry Block sells commercial real estate. This isn't his first time in front of the camera. A few years ago, he was surreptitiously filmed while taking a New York City taxi and ended up in a Bud Lite commercial.

Malcolm Busch, "The Pope"

Wed, 11 Mar 2009 22:47:25 +0000

Malcolm's son Andrew was in my geometry class in high school. As I recall, he was a master of the Pythagorean theorem. Now he's a Rabbi.

Go figure.

Joel Leizer, "Pork"

Mon, 09 Mar 2009 23:58:46 +0000

Joel Leizer runs an extremely busy dental practice and is a former President of the New Jersey Dental Association. He is an avid golfer, a proud grandfather and his favorite time for a dental appointment is 2:30. Sorry, I couldn't resist.

Ronnie Busch, "Emissions"

Thu, 05 Mar 2009 02:02:11 +0000

Ronnie Busch is the third Busch brother to tell a joke on the site. He has always been remarkably fast with a one-liner. When I decided, after college, to forgo law school and go into the movie business he quipped "Great! Rin-tin-in needs a stand-in."

It turned out not to be true. Rin-tin-tin has this little bitch he's been working with for years.

Arthur Factor, "Medical Exam"

Mon, 02 Mar 2009 20:05:14 +0000

Dr. Factor, as we will always know him, was our pediatrician. Although I can recall him looking in my ears and my mouth, I don’t have any memory of an examination like he describes in his joke.

Louis Goldstein, "Bobka"

Thu, 26 Feb 2009 04:54:51 +0000

Louis Goldstein is active in several charities including the "Wounded Warrior Battalion" which supports Veterans and the "Challah Fund" for which he delivers challahs to cancer patients every Friday night.

Neil Lawner, "Honeymoon"

Mon, 23 Feb 2009 22:17:05 +0000

Neil Lawner and his partner were the most popular orthodontists in Central New Jersey when we were growing up. When my mother took me in for an exam, his partner suggested that they would have to remove four of my teeth before giving me braces. My mother told him politely that I had room in my mouth for all of my teeth and probably some extras. Then she took me to the second most popular orthodontist.

Larry Donsky, "Hospital"

Wed, 18 Feb 2009 23:39:26 +0000

Since his retirement a few years ago, Larry Donsky has lived in an
active-adult community in New Jersey where he sits as Chairman of the
Entertainment Committee.

Malcolm Busch, "Drobkin"

Tue, 17 Feb 2009 03:30:11 +0000

Malcolm Busch is a first-cousin of my father's. "Drobkin" is an
outstanding example of a story that is well-practiced and honed to
perfection. I especially love his use of the word "stripling." Right
now, I laughed a little just typing that word. Stripling.

Barnett Hoffman, "Fidelity"

Wed, 11 Feb 2009 23:20:08 +0000

Barnett Hoffman is my dad. He was a criminal judge in New Jersey for twenty years where he would occasionally crack jokes from the bench. (Lawyers were not required to laugh but the smart ones did.) He was also the casting director for this project.

David Paszamant, "Chicken"

Mon, 09 Feb 2009 22:02:46 +0000

David Paszamant ran a very successful wine business for many years. He is also an avid collector and eBay trader. Contrary to popular belief, he has never sold a chicken.

Michael Goldberg, "Plumber"

Thu, 05 Feb 2009 00:12:08 +0000

Dr. Michael Goldberg worked with my mom at St. Peter’s hospital. I wouldn’t have thought that there were funny Gynecologic Oncologists, but there you are.

Bert Busch, "Health Care"

Mon, 02 Feb 2009 20:24:50 +0000

Bert Busch’s mother Jeanette was the second of my grandfather’s five sisters. His brothers Malcolm and Ron also contributed jokes. When we were growing up in the seventies, Bert had a groovy moustache that made him look a little like Gomez from the Addams family.

Diane Hoffman, "Broccoli"

Wed, 28 Jan 2009 19:21:18 +0000

Diane Hoffman is my mom. She can do pretty much anything and, at any given time, is doing everything. She’s also one of the few joke tellers to drop the “F” bomb. Kind of makes me proud.

Louis Goldstein, "Golf"

Tue, 27 Jan 2009 17:40:22 +0000

Louis Goldstein was a US Marine in the 1950s and he still looks like he could kick your ass. He ran an independent lumberyard in Central New Jersey for many years.

Larry Donsky, "McCoy"

Thu, 22 Jan 2009 18:02:32 +0000

Larry Donsky and my father attended Camp Dellwood together in Honesdale, PA from 1950 to 1954. At camp, Larry was known as "Moose" Donsky. Later, he played first base and catcher for a Coney Island League baseball team and worked in the Garment district in New York. He and my father fell out of touch for thirty years until my father decided to look him up in the white pages and call him. They have since rekindled their friendship and spearheaded the one and only Camp Dellwood reunion.